George Carlin on Age.

George Carlin, was one of the most amazing stand up comics I have ever seen. Sadly he passed away in 2008. He was a rare breed of old school stand up comics who believed that their wit and words would create the punch and not the use of profanities and the F-bomb. Here is a transcript from one of his shows where he talks about age.

Do you realize that the only time in  our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less  than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in  fractions.

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’ You’re never  thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s  the key  You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back.  You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

‘How old are  you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’  You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest  day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound  like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21  YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened  there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him  out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong?  What’s changed?

You BECOME  21, you TURN  30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the  brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are  gone.

But wait!!!  You MAKE it  to 60. You didn’t think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You’ve  built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a  day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80’s and every day  is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime.  And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; ‘I  Was JUST  92.’

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it  over 100, you become a little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’

May  you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! 

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