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This weekend the missus and I find ourselves at Niagara Falls, NY one more time. In the 8 years Ive been here this is my 9th trip here and the missus’ second or third. We are “tourist-babysitting” a friend visiting from India.

The one thing that struck us, and has always been the case is the overtly high number of Indian tourists here at Niagara. I’ve always been fascinated about seeing thousands of Indian tourists here and sometimes wonder if I am in India or the US.

The typical Indian tourist comes into two demographics. The first one is a family with husband and wife, kids, and grandparents visiting from India. The second one is a bunch of guys who have decided to jump into a car and just drive out to Niagara at the last moment. Something akin to what we would do in India, going to Matheran, Mahableshwar or Goa.

Because of the droves of Indians visiting here, there are quite a few Indian eateries. Too many I would say. And frankly they all suck !

Walking around last night in a steady drizzle and a cold wind, we had an urge to have Indian food. So off we go hunting for the best Indian joint. We find out that there are 5-6 places in town. We land up checking each and everyone of them and come out disappointed by the food on display.

The best one we are told is Punjabi Dhaba. We go in to check the “all you can eat buffet” and see very generic looking Indian food being attacked upon by some of the hungriest Indians outside of India. The next one, Sardar Dhaba in the Ramada Inn, is equally pathetic. The missus and the friend go in and run out as fast as they can, psyched out by the pathetic state of the food.

The third one, Taste of India, is even worse than the first two. There is an Udipi joint that we dont even venture to, because the friend wants to eat only tandoori (blame her punjabi genes).

Finally we decide to check out this one restaurant that was “recommended” by the Ramada Inn concierge. His recommendation in hindsight was so wrong. When we first told him that we didnt like Punjabi Dhaba, which everyone said was the best in town, he was shocked.

So anyways we decide to check out his recommendation….a little away from town. So off we go trying to find that place with no directions. After nearly 20 min on the telephone while driving around, the hotel manager guides us to that hotel. Its 11pm and we now have no option but to eat what is there.

This is also a buffet. An all you can eat buffet. Except that there is very little of everything left.

So all three of us decide to ratchet down our taste buds to zero sensitivity and just wallop down food and fill our bellies. We do that, pay up a hefty 10 bucks for not so good food and get back in the car, feeling stomach full but disappointed.

A stop at Dennys to wash down some dessert brings up the moods. I think the sugar kick did it.

And then we spend the night at the Casino, trying to win some moolah.

All in all a lesson learnt. There are no good Indian restaurants. The ones that are there are giving a bad name to India and Indian food. The Indian Embassey should sue these restaurant for fraudulantly advertising bad food as Indian food. The money that it collects as damages, should then be pumped into starting a really fancy kick ass Indian restaurant, so that we can regain our lost crown as one of the world’s premier cuisines.