Nokia Shuts India Down

As of this moment, all the cellphones in India are not working. Millions and millions of people have been thronging the gates of Nokia dealerships to get their batteries replaced after Nokia issued a warning and a recall for the BL-5C battery.

There have been scenes of people breaking down because their beloved Nokia is not working. The hand of terrorist has not been ruled out.

Some people have taken things in their own hands and have decided to take out a dharna from Mantralaya to Nokia’s headquarters in Finland.

Bal Thackeray has come out and issued a warning to the foreign powers and has said that this is a ploy by Finland to bring India to its knees. Finland has asked all its nationals to move out of India and has reduced its staff at the embassy to a skeletal outfit just to man the phones and keep the air condition on.

Lalu Prasad Yadav has issued a diktat that any travellers found on Indian Railways shall be arrested on the spot and the punishment shall be the same as it is for pulling the chain on the trains.

The Left Front has blamed this on the Congress and its liberalisation policy started in 1991. Their spokesperson Sitaram Yechuri has said that if there had been no liberalisation we could have had no cellphones and Nokia would not have been able to bring the country to its knees.

Throngs of people in major Indian cities have been found to be wandering the streets suffering from major withdrawl symptoms. The Army has been summoned and they have set up medical posts on street corners across the nation to treat people for twitching thumb and tingling ear symptoms.

All efforts to contact the Prime Minister failed as his Nokia N95 is turned off.

I hope by now you realized that this was a spoof.