Emerging ‘isms’ of the new economy

INFOSYSism: You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking.

PATNIism: You have 10 cows. You make them work so that they give milk of 100 cows

WIPROism: GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

DELLism: Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow’s milk.

IBMism: You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.

MICROSOFTism: You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.

SUNism: You have a bull. It doesn’t give milk. You hate Microsoft.

ORACLEism: You have a cow. You don’t know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.

SAPism: You don’t have a cow You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.

APPLEism: You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

SONYism:You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world’s thinnest milk.

CITIBANKism: Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2…stay on line if you’d like our customer care to milk it for you.

HPism: You don’t know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.

GEism: You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that’s his imagination at work.

RELIANCEism: You don’t yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.

TATAism: You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.

HONEYWELL ism: You have a cow.  You start counting its legs, hair on the body… etc..!! then you get alongwith NASA to send her on a space mission. You also fit sensors on it to detect abnormality during voyage. Oops..!!! Somewhere somehow ….. you forgot a cow was meant for milking..!!